When will it be my turn?

Dear Whoever

I decided to vent while I am at work. Maybe this will help me release this negative energy before it festers into me being miserable the rest of the day. When will it be my turn? A resident brought in a cake today and announced she was expecting. Everyone is so happy for her, as they should be. I on the other hand have the bandaid ripped off of my healing wound and I start thinking about the miscarriages again. Since I tend to think so negatively, I immediately start judging her. I think that she shouldn't tell people if she just found out. What if she loses it? Did she really just find out? And so on... Then as I got back to my studies, the admin came and showed me the cake. He said excitedly "Its a boy!" Great, she is obviously well past just finding out since you do not discover the sex until approximatelly 18-22wks gestation. Then, I hear her tell someone down the hall that she is due at the end of July. That is when my due date was. I would have just been finding out the sex of MY baby... But, here I am sitting in my thoughts with no one having a clue that I am still mourning a loss and wondering if I will ever have a successful pregnancy.

That's it for now.
Me