A Cold Blooded Murderer: Cancer

Dear Whoever-

My stepdad was recently diagnosed with cancer in December. We previously had been told he had pneumonia, bronchitis, and the bumps on his head were just cysts. Wrong! Stage 4 Lung Cancer ended up being the diagnosis after biopsying the "cysts" on his head and going to three different doctors.

In the passing weeks, he went through two different types of chemotherapy, blood transfusions and began losing weight and getting weak very quickly. A followup showed the mass had not grown nor shrunk and then recently hope was provided when we were told the bumps on his head may not be cancer at all, but just crazy lymph nodes.

His breathing has been getting more labored and he went back to the doctor last Friday (March 21). Apparently they did more xrays and they were going to set him up for radiation and chemo next week to zap the mass between his lungs. A glimmer of hope was past along in the message. We were going to figure this out and fix it.

Sunday (March 23), he called my mom and told her to call an ambulance for him because he didnt think he could wait for her to come home and then drive him to the hospital. They did more xrays on him and he stayed overnight.

Monday (March 24), Around 2pm I got the text message saying that it was all bad news, so i called my mother. Dave picked up the phone (very weak sounding) and began sobbing as he told me he had a maximum of 2 weeks to live. Its so sad for a grown man to cry, and to know that he is dying and he cant do anything about it.

We all just feel so helpless, and the more i think about how he feels, i just feel worse. How can you find out you are dying and you dont even have time to accept it? Its like you were kidnapped by foreign spies and they are just going to murder you. Its so sad.

Since I live so far away from home, I cant just run over there and offer my support. I cant be there for my mom and help her, i cant be there for him to make his last days maybe a little more bearable. Instead, i am stuck taking care of other people's family members 1900miles away. I used all of my leave by coming home for my uncle and grandmother's funerals, I cant even go for two weeks.

This is the big part of the military I hate. And the fact that it seems like everyone i know is dying, makes me expect it to continue. Who is next? How much time will I have?

Thats all for now.
Me